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May 3rd, 2005

09:46 pm: Reading Susan comment about getting in trouble for lack of respect concerning a doctor title made me curious about the tutors here, and whether or not any of them had doctorates. Because we certainly never call anyone Dr. So and so.
So I looked up the faculty bios.

Well, I found those really impressive.
Apparently the vast majority have doctorates. And otherwise really cool histories.

Current Music: sleater-kinney

May 2nd, 2005

04:01 pm: I am the most terrible god, and the most gentle
It looks like Matt is going to be living with us this summer, in Manassas, for a number of reasons. I'm excited about it, but want to make sure I leave time open for just the Manassas folks.

This is belated, but we lost the croquet match- I was disgusted by the behavior of the Navy boys- the heckling, the sexism, the "I'm all for getting girls drunk and..." comments, the beer spraying, the macho posteuring. When the senior officers were around they were respectful and decent, but it was such a filthy ruse. I hated it.
Plus, I mean, we lost. So that wasn't so fun.

I was accepted to the summer seminar I applied to. It's run by GMU, and has Liberty as its central topic, but it advertises the presence of seasoned journalists that I can speak to, and there's fre tuition, room, and board. I'm really looking forward to it. Also, since there will be lectures, though with a focus on professor-student relations and student-student discussion, it should be the closest I ever get to a normal college experience.
So what should I call the professors? Prof. so and so or Mr/Mrs so and so? I'm unclear on the etiquette in these things.

Just one more week of classes. I'm stressed because I have three papers due this week, procrastinating because 2/3 of them are meant to be only around three pages.
I'm really excited about next year. I cheated my way into a pretty nice room, I like my future roommate, I won't have lab next year and Greek ends. Things are going great with Matt, who's going to be living on the floor below me next year, which should perfectly suit our mutual laziness.
I regret that I've been skimping on my readings the past week or two. I should try to finish the Metaphysics over the summer.
And, I am spitefully pleased that Denea was unable to find a roommate for next year, and so is on the waiting list. I hope she gets a room, but I know I was upset over the likely possibility that I wouldn't have one. But it eases my sense of justice that her current roommate dislikes her as much and Erin and I did.

mmm, dead week

Current Mood: bacchic
Current Music: franz ferdinand

April 20th, 2005

04:30 pm: it's a great idea
only two more hell days to good, and I don't really want school to end. I like it here.
Friday is the room drawing, about which I am nervous. Mr. Aamot said something about a one in three chance that I'll be booted off campus, and I sincerely do not want to live in an apartment next year. I do look forward to living with Becky next year, though
Saturday is the croquet match, so Matt and I ran off to buy picnic type snacks-- I'm having a lot of trouble not eating them right now. And it looks like Matt may be living in Manassas with us this summer, which should be exciting.
I need a job. I don't want school to end.

Current Music: sufjan

April 7th, 2005

09:46 am: Grueling nights where my eyes become accustomed to that computer screen glare, with only my shadow for company, and the softly smacking roommate(s) in the bed across the room. Freshman essay- a good 3700 words, eleven pages, turned in.

And so there will be a ptolemy paper to write and a meno paper to write and, shock of all shocks, one of my tutors is giving a test- yes, a test, of the examination variety- and there will be cramming, and there will be stress, and hell, I might even pass it. It can't be too difficult to learn the movements of the sun. I am well acquainted with the habits of the heavens.

I am tired, and ready for vacation, but not really looking forward to the summer.

I forgot I had work this morning (oops) and got about half an hour of sleep before security called, Brie-hunting. Luckily, the Lieutenant chuckled at me and said he'd figured I'd forgotten.

Oh well! It's done and done. And if there is any fortune to be found tonight will, indeed, be full of pranks and drinking and sleeping in my boyriend's room.

Current Mood: scruffy
Current Music: bloc party

February 28th, 2005

12:05 am: so it's spring break, and i submitted this year's round of financial aid forms. And I did my taxes.

That was essential.

(I have become an object of family scandal. On thursday myself and a male, alone, will venture south and to the beach. "Debbie, how do you feel about this?" the relatives are asking, their sly way of disapproving, of my actions and mother's approval.)

I wanted to watch some of the Oscars tonight, but dad thundered over his distaste of the show's "banalities," so I had to hunker down in the back corner of the house, with the twenty year old television and some fan whose for-the-sake-of-which is to deny me comfort.

Maybe I'll take tomorrow and its expected 8 inches of snow to start my freshman essay. "Aristotle's use of art"-- a topic that has been accepted by both seminar and language tutors. I have seven pages of notes, two solid sources, and no clue what to write.

I think I want to be a journalist.

Current Mood: headachey

December 17th, 2004

12:13 am: I am so pissed off with Denea. I can't believe she'd be so underhanded, so deceitful. I've given her far too much credit and sympathy this year. She didn't deserve my concern, because she's incapable of retrning it. Some "Christian witness." I'm a hell of a better person than she is, and even more than that, I'm infinitely better than she thinks she is, than she at least pretends to be. How dare she lecture me, condemn me, tell me my spirituality is false? She judged me the very day we moved in, and I can not believe that such a person is in any way righteous.
I couldn't stand another semester with her. Thank goodness I don't have to. She thinks things are "tense." She wants us to be able to "talk." Yeah. She hasn't spoken to me in a month. And she just forfeited any right to remain friendly. She says she "loves" me, and it's a lie. She "loves" me patronizingly, and only because she thinks she's supposed to. She is fake, and she is, in my eyes, and injury to her faith- which was her excuse for injuring me.

I will not miss her. At all.
That fucking bitch.

Current Mood: furious

December 14th, 2004

11:49 am: here's to the pranks we never pulled, and never will
oh man, the semester is over. A paper conference at three, then seminar on thursday, and I'm home.
I had Greek this morning, and it was my last class. The tutor had rented out the boathouse and enticed over a couple of other classes. Someone brought some homemade pizza. And we sat in a big circle and played "somehow" (the greek word for it being spelled pi omega sigma), which is like twenty questions without a limit. Even the prospectives joined in. The first answer was "being-at-work-staying-itself" and, man, the inside jokes.

Seminar this week is Plato's Symposium (which means "drinking party"), and in it Phaedrus, Eryximachus, Aristophanes, Agathon and Socrates give speeches praising Love. Monday's was one of the more confusing seminars this semester. Aristophanes's speech is about the four armed four legged bubble people. For those of you who've seen Hedwig, it's the story of the humans split in half, so that they spend the rest of their lives searching for completion. That movie, however, didn't express how tragic the story really is- the version I'd originally heard seems to promise that that completion is possible once the second half is found. But Aristophanes repeatedly refers to us as being broken and wounded, and we could only actually be reunited with our half, be whole, through an act of the gods. The completion is impossible- what we are searching for is unattainable. And almost worse, is the idea that in splitting us apart, our souls were also broken in half. I imagine jagged pink edges on my soul, and it's unpleasant.

Anyways. Now it's dead week. Matt's borrowing a car and we're buying snacks this afternoon, and tomorrow will be a movie day. It's kind of fun that he's mennonite- it makes him extremely sheltered, and he hasn't seen many movies, or heard much music, or done anything of the sort. tonight there's collegium and a waltz party. Tomorrow night is new year's. Thursday night is the Mrs. Leonard party, and after that another party. Lunch yesterday was special holiday fare. it's all making me feel warm and seasonal.

And I'm definitely ready for a break. I am proud, though, that last night was the first time all semester that I was up past midnight working on a paper. and i finished it before three am, and turned it in on time today, which is more than I can say for a good third of the class.

Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: pinback

December 6th, 2004

11:15 am: I transited to Towson for Friday and Saturday, and spent the night in between on the floor in Jason's room. Besides that short coffee with Josh, it was the first time I'd seen anyone from Osbourn since college began. And it was really good to see him. We gossiped hugely. We spent hours in Barnes & Noble. It was much like the summer, except the store was bigger and in Maryland.

I'd forgotten what normal colleges were like. There were three parking garages. The buildings were really tall and concrete, where here I'm surrounded by brick. And everyone there looked different, and dressed different. They had majors and projects and exams. I've gotten so used to this place, I feel like such a good fit here, it was interesting to be reminded of the alternatives. Fitting to be reminded of high school.

The Today show taped a story on my school last week- this year we have the oldest freshman in the school's history, a 61 year old named Roger, who is the president of Randolph-Macon College. I'll have to find a tv when that airs.

Soon I have to start my freshman essay. I'm very nervous about the second semester oral. I think about the papers I'll write and the books I'll read over the next three and a half years and I realize that I will be immensely proud of myself if I manage to graduate from here. So many people leave freshman and sophomore years, and then I have to be enabled. The stress of junior year is legendary. To be a senior here: I find the idea exciting and intimidating. I want this.

Not that all of the reading and work is exciting. Thucydides right now is obnoxious, and the discussions during much of the Driesch and Spemann readings were dead. But for the last lab class we read "The Upright Posture," which was fascinating. It claims that man's most distinguishing characteristic is not his ability to reason, but the fact that he walks upright. "We walk on credit," because with each step we take we are falling forward, and nature is regaining control of our bodies, until our foot finds the ground and we begin to fall again. Our very nature, Strauss writes, is to be in opposition to nature- being upright instills us with an innate distance from nature- our height from the ground- as well as from ourselves.
I don't know. I'm very much enjoying this. I'm very much enjoying thought.

December 1st, 2004

03:22 pm: i can see a lot of life in you
I've lost weight again. Yay for mono, right? But it's weird, because I weigh now what I weighed freshman year of high school. And none of my pants fit me again. And it's enough that the people I live with are noticing. Skinny Brie. Blah

Matt and me are at three months today. He filled my bed with balloons that say things like "skirt Brie" and "mono Brie" and he's taking me out to dinner tonight.
I'm still creeped out, though, by the fact that his roommate is engaged to his girlfriend of also about three months. And that Matt is probably going to be the best man at the wedding. And since the wedding will be in June, Matt will be twenty-one. The whole thing makes me feel old. I'm not sure I'm ready for some of these adult things.

I had my don rag right before thanksgiving break, and it went well. So, just this and next week, and my first semester of college is finished. That, is exciting.

Sufjan Stevens is gorgeous.

I miss Erin. I wish Denea had been the one who'd moved out.

Current Mood: skinny
Current Music: sufjan stevens

November 17th, 2004

06:20 pm: I have mono. Again. It's the third fucking time.

Current Mood: crappycrappy
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